


new year, same old me

by sarcastissa, SnorkleShit



Series: coffee mouths [8]
Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Inspired by Roleplay/Roleplay Adaptation, Lavernius Tucker needs a hug, M/M, New Year's Eve, New Years, Panic Attacks, Past Abuse, Past Domestic Violence, Roleplay, church is a loveable idiot, felix is a douche, mentions of drinking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-12
Updated: 2015-01-12
Packaged: 2018-03-07 05:31:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,642
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3163064
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sarcastissa/pseuds/sarcastissa, https://archiveofourown.org/users/SnorkleShit/pseuds/SnorkleShit
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A New Years party goes south whenever an unexpected visitor crashes the scene and Wash learns a bit more about Tucker than he set out to.</p><p>-------------------</p><p>a roleplay between myself and destielswingsmyheartacrosstheline on tumblr, adapted onto here</p>
            </blockquote>





	new year, same old me

**Author's Note:**

> "The pull on my flesh was just too strong  
> Stifled the choice and the air in my lungs  
> Better not to breathe than to breathe a lie  
> 'Cause when I opened my body I breathe in a lie
> 
> I will not speak of your sin  
> There was a way out for Him  
> The mirror shows not  
> Your values are all shot"
> 
> -Mumford And Sons "Broken Crowns"

Tucker grinned widely as he entered the cafe, his friends all gathered around Church, who was struggling to open a bottle of champagne.

"Ah, yes," He smirked as Church turned his head and scowled at him. "This again. How long this time."

"Shut up," Church grumbled.

"17 minutes and counting." Carolina told him with a smile before gesturing to a bottle of already open sparkling cider. "Happy new year. This time we remembered that you don’t like to drink."

"True friends," Tucker told her.

"Oh, please, I went to pick it up at the last minute." Washington drawled as he came out of the back room with the napkins Grif had sent him to get.

Tucker smiled at him and gave him a quick kiss. “So sweet. I dont deserve you.”

"Debatable. You need some help with that, Church?" Washington asked from behind him.

"Fuck off, undercut!"

Wash laughed, and wrapped his arm around Tucker’s shoulder.

"You excited for the new year, bae?" He asked.

Tucker grinned and rested his head on Wash’s shoulder. “Excited for another year with you, boo.”

Washington raised an eyebrow. “Is that a promise?”

Tucker smiled. “Would I lie to you?” He leaned up and kissed Wash.

"Well, either that’s a no, or you’re such a good liar I wouldn’t know. I’m hoping it’s the latter."

Tucker chuckled. “I promise that I’m looking forward to spending this year with you.”

"Right back at you. Things just seem to get better and better as time goes on, lately." Washington announced happily.

Tucker wrapped his arms around Wash’s middle and grinned. “It does seem that way, doesn’t it?”

"Cut it out, lovebirds. Save the smooching for midnight." York said, clapping him on shoulder and then going to stand by Carolina.

Tucker stuck his tongue out at York and leaned up to kiss Wash.

Washington always got a flush whenever they kissed in front of other people. Not that he was shy, he was just unused to public affection. He liked it, though. The most affectionate in public Maine ever got was an arm around him and the rare kiss on the forehead. Although, he’d stopped doing those gentle forehead kisses a little before he started getting violent. But Tucker was different. Tucker wasn’t bothered in the slightest and always wanted to show off how much he cares about Wash. It may be silly, but it made him feel special, in some weird way.

Tucker pulled away and grinned up at Wash. For a moment he felt like saying it. Those three words.

But nah. He wasn’t quite ready for that.

The cork finally popped from its bottle, and Church punched the air. Wash clapped sarcastically.  
"Way to be the manly man’s man, Church. A for effort, really." He called, earning a glare from Church and a laugh from South and Tex.

It was refreshing, having all his friends here, new and old.

"So, any New Years resolutions?" He asked, turning back to Tucker.

Tucker chuckled and looked back up at Wash. “Uh…its not very festive but to get custody of Junior this year, I guess? Lose five pounds? Make Church go on a diet and lose five pounds?”

Washington smiled. “That’s the best resolution I can think off! The Junior one, the Church one is unrealistic. You want to go get some of that cake-” He started to ask, but was cut off by the sound of the door opening. That was weird, everyone who was supposed to be here was here. He turned his head to see who it was, leaning closer into his embrace with Tucker out of habit.

Tucker turned to look and felt his entire body tense. Grif turned as well and locked his jaw at the sight of the tall orange haired man.

"You weren’t invited," He spoke in a lazy tone as Tucker began to shuffle on his feet, pulling away from Wash.

"Aw, but I thought that anyone who wanted a good time could come. That’s what Kai told Vanessa," Felix smirked as he slid, snake like, into the room.

Washington’s skin crawled at the change of atmosphere, and glanced between his boyfriend and the newcomer. So much for a drama free year. 

"Is this guy a problem?" He asked Tucker, the creeping familiar feeling of fight or flight rising in his throat.

Tucker gave him a shaky grin and took a step away from Wash. “He’s…I’m gonna go…somewhere.” He turned on his heel and walked quickly towards the bathroom, Carolina following after him.

"Don’t worry about Tucker," Felix grinned at Wash. "He’s very dramatic you see. I’m actually surprised that you two are still together, what with him being a whiny bitch and you not getting hit."

Washington felt like a bucket of cold water had been thrown over him, hands instinctively balled into fists. He took a calm step forward.

"Excuse me?"

"Baby, trust me, no need to pretend. He’s clingy as shit right? Gives you a gift and constantly asks if you really like it? Always wants to hold your hand?" Felix mimed gagging and laughed obnoxiously. "Plus he can barely even hurt a fly. Too busy scared of ending up like his dad, some loser drunk."

Church’s jaw clenched and Tex frowned as Felix. “What, and you’re so much better? Just because a jury—”

"Tex," Donut spoke gently, gesturing at Wash. Tex huffed and crossed her arms, glaring at Felix.

"I have no idea who you are, but I suggest you leave. You obviously know a lot about Tucker, but you also don’t seem to know anything at all. Stop talking like you run the world and leave us alone, Mr. Traffic Cone Skrillex." He demanded. This guy made his heart hammer and the hair on the back of his neck raise. He hated the way he talked about Tucker, and his gut twisted at what he’d implied in his earlier statement. Him not getting hit? It must have been a fluke, there was no way this random asshole knew about Maine.

Felix grinned at Wash. He tucked his hands into his pockets and leaned forward, closer to Wash than strangers really should be. “My name’s Felix. I’m someone who does his homework.” He winked at Wash before turning towards the bathroom. “So, where did our boy go?”

Washington resisted the urge to flinch back. This was Tucker’s ex? Damn. He had no way of knowing for sure that Felix knew about him, but he didn’t like the implication one bit. It was obvious this guy had hurt Tucker, and now he was just here to stir up trouble. He narrowed his eyes, and stepped in between Felix and the rest of them.

"He’s not ours. Get the fuck out of here, before I make you. You should really learn to pick up on when you aren’t welcome." He said lowly.

Felix grinned in delight. “You’d make me? Cute. I can see why he likes you. For now.” He sighed dramatically and took out a rectangular box from his back pocket. He handed it to Tex. “Tell Tucker merry Christmas for me?”

Tex looked into the box before Grif practically growled, “Get the fuck outta here before you’re on the receiving end this time.”

Felix laughed and held up in hands a surrender like gesture before turning on his heels and strutting out of the cafe.  
Washington glared after him until he was out of sight, then turned towards the others. “What a fucking tool. What’s in the box?”

Kai sighed. “A kitchen knife. There’s a story to it. He’s…”

"It’s not our place to tell him," Kimball frowned at Kai.

Washington furrowed his brow. He stared at the box, mind racing with all the bits of information.

A kitchen knife.

Being on the receiving end.

A scar that Tucker had yet to explain, stories of a not so long ago hospital stay.

Something about a jury, Tex had said. 

His heart stopped in his chest, and he turned away, putting a hand to his head.

"Holy shit. I think I’m gonna be sick. He fucking- that guy? Who the hell does something like that! Jesus Christ. " he took a few deep breaths to calm himself down. He knew he was just assuming, that he didn’t know the whole story. He looked out the glass of the cafe front, mind whirling.

"That asshole has a plan. He’s coming back, trust me. For now, he said…I saw it in his eyes, he’s got it out for Tucker, and now, apparently, me. If you see him again, you fucking tell me. God, what a piece of shit…"Washington ground his teeth together. "What the hell does ‘homework’ mean? Does he seriously know about that? How the fuck-" Wash stopped his angry, paranoid rambling, and put his head in his hands.

"Get rid of the knife, don’t let him know about it. Fucking bury it if you have to."

Tex nodded, handing the knife over to Sarge, who handed it to Simmons, who said something about not disappointing him.

"Wash, it was a couple of years ago. The jury didn’t charge Felix with anything because no one would listen to someone who’s black and gay. He already won. What could he possibly want now?" Church asked, half infuriated and half worried because Tucker was still in the bathroom with Carolina.

Washington rolled his neck and laughed, a half assed, exhausted, dark laugh.

"The thing about guys like Felix, is that their parasitic and sadistic. They won’t leave till they’ve sucked you dry, till you're either back under their thumb or they’ve fucked you up so tremendously bad that they can finally feel satisfied themselves. Trust me, he’s got a plan up his sleeve, and I am not going to put up with it."

Tucker deserved better than this. Than to live in fear. Washington would make sure Felix stayed away, the next time he came around.

"I need someone’s jacket or a blanket or something," Carolina announced as she walked back into the room, her hair that had been pulled up into a nice ponytail was now down, as she had pulled back Tucker’s dreads. "He’s not throwing up this time but he’s shaking pretty badly."

"Panic attack?" Church asked. "How bad?"

"I haven’t seen him this bad since the trial. He dry heaved a bit but—"

"Then should I go in there?" Doc interrupted. "I had medical training."

"Church and I have been taking care of Tucker since they met and we figured out his situation. I think we got it." She scoffed. "Where’s the bastard?"

"He left. Should I- should I just stay out here?" Washington asked, heart twisting painfully at the thought of Tucker in so much pain. He felt helpless. But he knew he should probably keep his distance if he was slated to.

Carolina sighed. “Go. Dote on your boyfriend. Pamper him. He deserves it.”

Inside the bathroom, Tucker curled in on himself, knees pressed to his chest as he tried to focus on the feel of the cool tile behind him.

Nervously, Washington took a deep breath and headed towards the bathroom and slowly opened the door.

"Babe? Can I come in?"

"Yeah," Tucker whispered a bit before clearing his throat. "Sure." He rubbed his hands over his face to try and hide the tear trails.

Washington stepped inside, and tried to make sure he didn’t look like he was putting him. Empathy, not pity. 

He stepped towards Tucker, and slid down the wall to sit next to him, leaving a little space. He knew Tucker preferred his space when things went south.

"He’s gone."

Tucker nodded, his hands still over his face as he tried to breathe. “I was good to him.” He didn’t know who he was trying to convince more or why he was saying anything, he just felt like it needed to be said.

"I know. You're good. You radiate goodness. He wasn’t good enough for you. But…" He ran a hand through his hair. "I know what it’s like to be blinded by how much you love someone, not to realize if you should or not. It’s not your fault. I’m sorry…that you ever had to deal with an asshole like that." He really hoped he was saying the right things.

Tucker began to cry silently, hoping that Wash wouldn’t notice. His next words were strangled and full of sorrow. “I was gonna propose to him.”

Washington felt his heart break a little. 

He hesitantly raised his hand a little. He wanted to comfort Tucker somehow, but he didn’t know how. He was so terrified of fucking something up when Tucker was this emotional.

"I understand." Was all he could think to say. He suddenly got the urge to say something, to try and show he related to Tucker’s pain, but he didn’t want to seem like he was making it about himself. He bit his lip in indecision.

Tucker shook his head and wiped his tears on his sleeve discreetly. “I-I came home and he was…he was fucking the waiter from the restaurant where we had dinner. So I left. And whenever I came back to get my stuff he…he…” Tucker started to hyperventilate at the memory.

Washington was totally going to break that guys nose next time he saw him.

He hesitantly reached out, resting a warm gentle hand on Tucker’s back.

"It’s okay, you're safe. You're here, with me, not there. He’s not here, and I’m never gonna let him near you again."

Tucker tensed at the hand but then relaxed and tried to use the contact to ground himself. He didn’t bother to hide the sob that escaped from his mouth or how hard he was crying anymore. He leaned against Wash and tried to focus on the blond. On his smile, his kiss, the way his hands felt, his kind eyes, all of the freckles, the way he holds Tucker, the way he relaxes whenever Tucker’s is in his line of sight.

"You love so intensely, so completely. He took you for granted, and if I ever see him again, he’s gonna regret it. You deserve so much better. I want to give you better." Washington said softly, rubbing his hand in a comforting manner.

Tucker shook his head. “I don’t want you to see him again. He’s dangerous and unstable.” He pulled away enough to give Wash and pleading look. “I don’t want him to hurt you, too.”

Washington nodded. “Trust me, I don’t want to see him either. He…” He hesitated, wondering if he should tell Tucker the truth. “He was implying some shit and being generally creepy.”

Tucker chuckled humorlessly. “That’s Felix for you.”

"Fuck him, okay? You’ve got a whole brigade of people who won’t let him near again, and you’ve got me. It’ll be okay.”

"Promise?" Tucker asked in a small voice as he stared up at Wash.

"Of course. I’d do almost anything for you, man." Washington assured him, reaching to cup his jaw and smiling with the love he couldn’t yet speak out loud.

Tucker gave him a shaky smile while he leaned into the hand that cradled his jaw. “I know,” He answered softly, still shaking from the encounter. “I’d do anything for you, too.”

Washington pulled him into a loose hug, placing a kiss on the top of his head.

Tucker melted into the hug and wrapped his arms around Wash’s middle and snuggled into Wash’s shoulder. “Thank you,” He mumbled quietly.

Washington smiled. “Any time. We can go back out whenever you want. Or we can just go. Whatever you wanna do.”

Tucker hummed in response but tightened his hold around Wash. “Later.” He mumbled, fingers drawing patterns onto Wash’s back. I love him , he thought to himself.

**Author's Note:**

> playlists:  
> plot: http://8tracks.com/snorkletuckington/twenty-questions  
> wash: http://8tracks.com/snorkletuckington/cracks-in-the-mirror  
> tucker: http://8tracks.com/snorkletuckington/the-strongest-hearts-are-the-heaviest  
> felix: http://8tracks.com/snorkletuckington/please-don-t-stay-in-touch
> 
> wash: destielswingsmyheartacrosstheline  
> tucker: sarcastissa


End file.
